Fred Loses Sleep - And His Patience
Martha my dear the day has come,
That I must
tell you what's on my mind,
I've laid awake these past four nights,
As
sleeps been impossible to find.
Even though you may not realize,
It's your
snoring that's drivin' me insane,
I've taken the pillow and covered my
head,
But my efforts have all been in vain.
I've laid on my ride side and laid on my
left,
Hell, I've even gone to the foot of the bed,
Twice I've tried
pinchin' your nostrils shut,
And received your elbow to the side of my
head!
That can of spray you be usin' at night,
Don't
seem to be workin' worth a damn,
Once I even put a pill in your mouth,
All
coated with strawberry jam!
I even tried counting the number of snores,
And
pretended I was counting little sheep,
Come next morning you was all freshed
up,
But I couldn't even talk, from lack of sleep.
Today I thought I'd walk to the corner
store,
For fresh air, some milk, and some bread,
Damn it Martha, I had to
stop and lay down,
A cop shook me 'cause he thought I was dead!
I've come to the conclusion that if I'm to
rest,
Some changes are gonna' have to be made,
You'll now find a cot in
the basement for you,
Enclosed in your own little cage!
If you feel that my actions are way outta'
line,
And choose not to go sleep on that cot,
I've arranged for a vacation
to your Momma's place,
And I reminded her that you're all she's
got!
